Shouldn't I be above this?

It’s not fair, don’t I do good things?  Don’t I deserve a break?

Sound familiar?

I read this in one of my devotionals this morning (and I hope she doesn’t mind my using her words!):

"Shouldn't I be above this? I asked myself. Shouldn't I be able to deal with rejection and deceit without getting angry? Why can't I rejoice in my trials like those first followers of Jesus?" (from God Never Wastes Our Pain By Glynnis Whitwer)

Don’t we get tired of hurting, being rejected or taunted?  And to be so strapped financially, and rejoice in it?!?  Isn’t that asking a bit much of anyone?!?

Psalm 91:1-2 offers a rousing yes!  “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”  The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.  I will protect those who trust in my name!”

This is one that I am standing on right now.  More bills than pay, and how to get to work to get more pay that still won’t be enough to cover those bills.  Again, sound familiar?

On My Own by Ashes Remain lyrics or video

I heard this one on the radio this morning, and it ties it all together for me, so am still trying to stand on His protecting and rescuing me, trusting in Him to help me gather all those loose strings to make the beautiful tapestry that will be my life and the path leading to Him and the final and wonderful answer – when He calls me by His name for me and only me!

Casting Crowns - Voice of Truth lyrics or video

Philippians 4:7 says “His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

I read this in one of my online devotionals yesterday and boy, did it back a punch!  I know that life on this earth will be hard, and it not supposed to be easy and that we need to live in Him, and this verse hit it!

Every heard this prayer:

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and was rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job)! is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love.  It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear.  Open our hearts not just to those who are close to us, but to all humanity.  Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

Puts it all in perspective, doesn’t it?  It may seem that the other person might not have it so hard as we, could/should be doing more/better than they are, but do we really know what is happening in their lives any more than they in ours?  And now, knowing this, knowing that you are the mirror reflecting the Light living in you, how can you not, even with your own trials and tribulations, not show how you are blessed by extending a hand.  That hand could be reaching out with so much potential to change a life.

So - Casting Crowns Praise You in this Storm lyrics or video?

Sing through those tears, they can’t be seen in the rain!  But YOU can, and what is going to be seen and heard is PRAISE and BLESSINGS!

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love.  It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear.  Open our hearts not just to those who are close to us, but to all humanity.  Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life . . .

Ever heard this song? 

Lyrics 

Doesn’t necessarily make me feel overly wonderful as I was a wife at one point and can only hope that this song was not a criteria!  But my one daily devotional made me think about the flip side as well.  Think of all the “beautiful people,” all those movie starts or sports starts.  They never get a moment’s peace!  And while no one is following me around with a camera, I don’t seem to get a break either.

This devotional went on to state that Jesus was there for us always!  Even when he tried to get away for a moment’s peace by crossing the lake in a boat, when he landed with the disciples on the other side, they were waiting for him! (Matthew 8:18)

See, even he couldn’t get away, as when he got to the other side, there were 2 demon-possessed men on the shore.  (Matthew 8:28). 

Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” (Matthew 8:20)  (Matthew is really hitting me right now, can’t you tell?)

But, then I read the below in an online devotional:

In the midst of caring for those you love, don't neglect yourself. You are valuable and important. You are worth a little treat. You have a big job and need to be refreshed. (Proverbs 31, 06/19/12, by Glynnis Whitwer)

So, don’t neglect myself – that’s hard! Jesus did get away from time to time, just to pray and spend time with His Father and ours, to refresh himself.  But, we were told:

 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’”  This is the first and greatest commandment.   And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:37-38)

WOW!  So, we need to take time.  How is it that it is so easy to keep giving to others (neighbors), but not doing as commanded and loving ourselves as much as we are loving those around us?

I’m also reading Max Lucado’s “In the Grip of Grace” right now, and there is a section on page 7 that asks which of the characters listed do I most resemble.  Based on the charts he laid out on pages 8-9, I fall between the legalist and the Christian.  I always “feel guilty”, I’m always tired (“weary”), I feel that “I can’t work enough”, I am “stressed-out”, and surely don’t feel worthy of grace (“not me”).  But – I “know my Father”, I know that “I may be bad, but I’m forgiven”, and “I can’t thank Him enough.”  

So, wandering all over in this one, how do we be happy?  How do we not feel guilty, tired, stressed-out, how do we feel worthy of the grace given?

Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

We are all going to have issues. I don’t think anyone would ever say that I am one of the “beautiful people,” I was married and must not have been ugly enough as I am not married any longer! ;-)  These are things that we must go through to be purified.  Peter asked that “the thorn be removed.”

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

So, His grace is enough.  Ever heard that story "I wish you enough love"? 

That is the way to look at life and the speed bumps – I must be getting this so that I have enough!

Make a Joyful Noise

"... It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD's people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. I will become even more undignified than this..." 2 Samuel 6:21-22a (NIV)

I read this in my Proverbs 31 daily devotional today and it really stopped me in my tracks.  I continued to read and she mentioned how Micah thought that King David was uncouth, so undignified in his dancing.  She was looking at him with disgust and so passed judgment, and then went onto tell him so!  Now, if I had been in David's place with how my life has been going for the last few days, it would have crushed me.  I would have let someone else's opinion of me get me down and destroy the joy that had been expressed in the unplanned and un-orchestrated dancing.  And why - because I would have been listening not only to the voice that criticized, but to that little voice inside that loves to makes us doubt and wonder.  AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN WRONG, JUST AS I HAVE BEEN ALL THIS WEEK!!!

So, when given this invitation, why not rejoice in whatever way feels right?

Matthew 11:28:  "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

It has been such a hard week, that Nickelback has been on my playlist, and this song really stands out for these lyrics:

Nickelback - If Everyone Cared  

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died
And I'm singing

Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, I'm alive

I AM ALIVE!!!  And I can only wish that everyone lived as the lyrics state!  But they don't and so I listened to 2 voices this week and let them completely ruin not only my week, but several of those that I care for and who care for me.  I cannot control that other person's mouth, or how they might ever realize, if they ever do, the impact of those words and the perceptions that resulted from them.  I wish I could make them see, but I also wish that I could make all the alcoholics realize what they are doing to themselves.  Is that ever gonna happen?  Not likely.

So, what do I do? 

But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.  Colossians 3:8

Man, this is hard.  I have been so hurt and disillusioned this week, and this is the dictate that I must turn to and follow.  I could hold onto that anger and hurt, but what would that do?

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

Not good. So, I need to work on letting that go.  Step back and look at what happened.

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 29:11

In listening to the false words of both voices, not only did the venting fool show himself, but I turned into one!

You who tear yourself to pieces in your anger, is the earth to be abandoned for your sake? Or must the rocks be moved from their place? Job 18:4

I didn't necessarily want the rocks moved, just his hard head to the truth.  Well, again, I cannot control that, and he has a really hard head!  So, time to move on.  And how do I do that?  Music!

Casting Crowns – Praise you in the storm 

Chris Rice – Small the Color 9

I should have been praising rather than crying and ranting and raving.  It is so easy to forget that!

I need to remember the bible story about the silversmith and smelting the cilver to get to purity.  Maybe the heat of that other person's anger was helping to rid me of some of the crap that needs to be gone so that I am better aligned to God.

And this last song - can you smell either a color or a number?  NO!  I was basically trying to do something similar and with the same results.  None.

I have hurt so much this week, and all I had to do was change my mind.  That's all it takes.  Mom kept telling me to FROG – fully rely on God.  But I didn't and l rode my anger right into fatigue, hurt and so much more.  There is still hurt, but I am not going to let it control me.  I vented at the person who hurt me.  Not in the correct way, at all, but they are aware of some of the impact of their thoughtless words even if they choose to do nothing.  I have no control over that.  But – I can control my reaction going forward and try to do like David, and not give 2 flying figs who may be watching!

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:1-5

 Third Day – Consuming Fire 

P U S H !

P. U .S. H.

Pray Until Something Happens

This is the newest tool to try and get it through to so many, pray until something happens.  But what if you pray and you don't see anything happen, or worse, what you didn't want to happen, happens?  How do you help, what do you do, say, feel?

That's Why I Pray 

There is so much wrong, so many hurting, and we all want to help, so, we pray.  We pray to ease the pain, to stop the tears, to ask for something better, easier, happier.  Big & Rich lay out a few examples here, and the carried TVs with the haunting images really smack you in the face.

But, we don't need someone showing us images of far away in the world to know hurt and heartbreak and frustration and not being able to affect change.  Cancer anyone?  I have 4 people at least in my own life circle right now that I am praying for, due to cancer.  Death in the family?  A good friend just buried is 4 year old granddaughter.  Financial woes?  Stand in line?  Who isn't having some kind of financial woes right now except those running for office?!?  Big Kenny wrote this song for his sister:  Holy Water  

And really, where do we stand?  Between Raising Hell & Amazing Grace  You got that right!  And for some, we are the example of how and where we should raise hell and what that amazing grace can be!  Want to feel humbled?  Ask someone who you know is going through something if you can pray for them and watch the shock, amazement and humbling bafflement go across that face.  And if, if something positive comes out of it?  Well, then it's your turn to feel humbled when they come and tell you and then – wait for it – THANK YOU for praying! 


For so many, this is their life feeling - I'm gonna live forever.  Well, news flash, ain't gonna happen.  And then what?  We can't say prayer in schools, or pretty much anywhere in public and people wonder what's wrong with the world.  Joe Nichols If Nobody believed in you.  Can you imagine how He feels when we take Him out of schools?  Big & Rich speak a little to this in the first song, families are so shattered and spread so thin with activities as no one knows how to sit in quiet solitude with themselves, they don't like themselves much and don't want left with their own thoughts. 

And that is where the tempter, the whisperer comes creeping in.  Get thee behind me, satan!  We need to say this, we need to remember prayer walks, belief in the Word and the symbols of the faith that are so needing in this world today.  9/11?  Did you ever hear this one?  9-11 Song from God.  I heard this the next day, and had to pull over and cry, I couldn't breathe.  He was there.  So many asked how He could have let it happen, but HE WAS THERE!   They just all couldn't, or wouldn't, hear Him, even at the last.  Haven't been taught, or were driven out by organized religion versus true belief.

So, coming back to P U S H – what  if?  Garth Brooks Unanswered Prayers or Laura Story Blessings, or Casting Crowns Praise you in the storm. 

Sometimes, you can't and won't get what you pray for, but sometimes – what you do get is so much better!  So P U S H and F R O G – Fully Rely On God!

Maya Angelou and Caged Birds and me on a quest!

I listened to the abridged version of "I know Why the Caged Bird Sings", and loved it, and didn't realize that it was autobiographical and WANT MORE!!! So, I went to see and it is the first in a series of 5. But get
this, they are almost all song titles!

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Gather together in My name
Singin', Swingin' and gettin' merry like Christmas
The heart of a woman
All God's children need traveling shoes

Now granted, with some, you really have to stretch to get it, and the first is a poem, near and dear to this creative writer's heart. But 5! Can you imagine having that much to tell other people about your life?!? I can't! And yet - we all could. The detail that went into that first book was awesome, but then you
step back and realized this actually happened to the wonderful voice READING this story. She was raped and he blamed her! It actually went to trial and he was acquitted but justice still happened as her uncles were not going to let this go. I was amazed. So much heartbreak, and this beautiful, strong, courageous and elegant woman is the result! And - that is where we are heading!  She went thru the fire, she carried her cross, and this is the almost final result of God's work on her and in her.

Toni Morrison is another one that I am suddenly fascinated with and want to read and know more about. She has a new book out called "Home" about a Korean war vet with PTSD - another thing near and dear to my heart. And yet, while she might write it with some knowledge and great sensitivity, I have to read it to see if she realizes that it isn't just the vet that has PTSD, but his family will as well. That was a new term that I learned just today - generational PTSD. The children of the vets develop their own forms of the malady and need treatment.  I didn't know the term, but could educate legions about how it comes about and
what it does.

And so, knowing all that, just based off my curiosity, I have learned that I COULD write books about myself. Maya did a great job of it and so elegantly and educated millions with her words. Me? I am still at the point of being mad and so wouldn't so much gently educate as batter away at those that I feel don't listen.  I have a friend that will ask me about my playlist to determine my mindset - right now, with so much feeling is "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down.

I can honestly say that we all, in our own way, are suffering from Superman syndrome. In the US, for women it is called Supermom syndrome, even if part of us do not have kids. I know that I do.

And then the next song to come up on my playlist, with such perfect timing, is Kenny Chesney's You save me.  He does save me, save all of us.

So you see, all of you are amazed at the music in my life. Well, I am not always choosing it - in this case, while seemingly random, He is still there in such small ways.

And - I have requested the second in this amazing autobiographical series from the library! I am on a quest!